My oldest son's birthday has come and gone and I'm sitting in the aftermath. I prayed for 2 weeks that there would be peace on his birthday, and he would some how know we loved him. But God chose not to block the strife. The strife that Satan created. (I know there are many opinions on "why bad things happen"---excuse any wrong theology here.)
It was a horrible weekend. Arguments, misunderstandings, and I watched my child suffer. There was nothing I could do but watch and listen to heartbreaking things.
Towards the end of the storm, I dropped my son off near public transportation as he wanted to go see a friend for the afternoon/evening in a fairly distant city. That night he didn't come home...nor did he come home for the next few nights. He rarely stays out overnight...but I sensed he was staying at this friends house--a family we don't know...but a family nevertheless. So I didn't worry. I just prayed for strength and wisdom to know how to proceed when he returned. He came back last night.
It seems that once I learn to trust God at a certain level, then he takes me to the next level. As soon as I'm able to trust him at that level....then he takes me to a deeper level.....And we keep going.....deeper and heavier...
The other day I said to God. "Lord! I am NOT ABRAHAM! I do not have his faith. I CANNOT sacrifice Isaac." But I fear that is where the Lord taking me. Up the hill. He wants me to sacrifice Isaac. --to give him completely over to the Lord whether he lives or dies.
I will trust him to provide a ram. (But I must trust the Lord even if he does not provide a ram.)
Okay...enough heavy stuff.
I have a blessing to share!
After I finished my summer school job, I still needed a job. The thought of working the entire summer didn't thrill me.
My friend contacted me and asked if I could work for the month of August as a caretaker/companion for her mother-in-law. (I'll call her Mrs. L.) The job is real blessing. Mrs. L. lives by herself but cannot drive and needs a little assistance and company. Mrs. L. has an organ sitting in her living room. She played for her church for 30 years. One day I talked her into playing a few pieces. We opened an old hymn book and she played while we both sang. What a unique job I have! We do spend time running to the market, doctor and pharmacy.
And a few days ago I brought her to my favorite place...the L.A. County Arboretum. The Arboretum is about 127 acres and Mrs. L. cannot walk far. I called ahead to see when the tram was running but found out it was down for repair. Oh dear! I prayed! Well the Lord answered this prayer! We ended up riding around in a golf cart with our own personal tour guide! We had a lot of fun. It was a cool morning...and the wind blew across our faces. Zoooooom! And our driver stopped whenever we wanted, so we could enjoy the sights!
I was reminded today, by Susan's post, that God leads us beside quiet pastures and still waters. He provides rest when we need it.
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7 comments:
There's an hymn that reminds me of this post. It is found in an old hymnal our church doesn't use anymore (we have some newer hymnals that have hymns and choruses now). Anyhow it goes something like this (I thought I had a copy at home, but I can't find it).
"From every stormy wind that blows... there is a calm a sure retreat and it's found beneath the Mercy Seat." (I forget the second line)
Keep trusting the Lord. He is your safe place. He will hide you in the shadow of His wings - in the cleft of the rock.
Much love,
Susan
I just found you again. Saw your comment on Yolanda's blog.
Is the LA Arboretum the one in Claremont? I love Descanso Gardens near Pasadena.
Regarding your son--prayers for you and him. We all have our 'situations' and they hurt our hearts.
I am so sorry that the birthday week-end and beyond has been so painful. But I am so glad that you are feeling a deepening of your life with God. Have you read "When I Lay My Isaac Down" by Carol Kent? Amazing book - she and Allison Bottke are friends.
The new job sounds wonderful! If only temporary, it has been a wonderful time. I have played the organ for 30 years at my church - don't have one of my own, but I can sure see doing just what you did with Mrs. L.
Thanks for sending me over to that site this morning.
Sorry to read abbout strife with your son. He's frequently in my prayers.
Glad to hear about your august job! God does provide.
I finally updated my blog with soemthing tiny, precious & blue :)
Sharon,
My heart breaks over your son's birthday weekend. Can I just tell you how STRONG you are? Continually giving him over to the Lord, and not desperately hanging on to him when he leaves the house. I personally know tough it is to sit and watch the drama, to let go, and just pray.
God is with you, and I believe He will honor you and your faithfulness...
And, also thank you for sending Dawn to my site. She and Kevin are an INSPIRATION!
Blessings,
Michelle
Sharon,
Thanks for the comment. I will have to come back and read this, I've only got a few seconds. I noticed you are a special Ed. teacher. I'm looking to go back and get my masters in Special Ed. Anyways, I'll be back!
Thanks,
Larissa
Hi there,
I am just back from a month in your general area (just loved San Diego and the surrounding areas). So sorry to hear about your son's birthday celebration not going as planned. These things can be so hard can't they. You seem strong in your faith and I will keep him in my prayers. Having a son of my own I can only imagine how you are feeling. Hope things improve and your August job sounds great. Have a good day.
Grace
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